Short Cons: My Blog-spiration Is Cameron Diaz

Specifically: Cameron Diaz’s character in Sex Tape.

This is honestly embarrassing, but, apart from the bit where she’s got two kids and is married to a dude who is probably only 70% good enough for her, she’s kinda living my best life. I mean, look at her, with her flawless dewy skin and her cutie PJs, blogging proudly about her marriage and getting corporate contract offers for fuckssake.

I mean, please don’t watch Sex Tape. It’s pretty terrible, and I say this as someone who has also watched Bad Teacher. It’s some of the most absurd, whitest, bourgie-est nonsense you will ever see and there’s a whole frikken scene with a German Shepherd that is 1000% pointless and also Rob Lowe is there, possibly only to make the audience think ‘gee, what has Rob Lowe done recently?’

But then… there’s Cameron Diaz.

OK so only watch Sex Tape if you’re a 30-something bisexual woman who’s finally having a Cameron Diaz phase.

There are no other reasonable reasons to watch the Cameron Diaz/Jason Segal film Sex Tape.

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