Short Cons: I Am A Garbage Monster That Eats Garbage

Today I spilled an entire bowl of porridge in my hallway.

That’s not the gross part.

(Although it does look a bit like someone puked right outside the doorway of my housemate’s room. Someone… or something… *glares at the cat, who has puked on every surface of this goddamn house*)

The gross part is that, with one small spoon and one hand, I scooped up all the parts that hadn’t directly touched the carpet, put them back in the bowl, and ate it anyway.

It wasn’t, like, truffle oil and jamon iberico. It cost me maybe 40 cents, it took 90 seconds to make in the microwave… it wasn’t even the last of the porridge.

But it hadn’t touched the floor, technically. There was a whole layer of porridge between the floor and the part I ate.


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